


MMMMMacaroni ;)

by jefferoni (CrowleysGlasses)



Series: Hamilton Crack [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bottom Thomas Jefferson, Crack, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Jamilton is in here for a bit????, M/M, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Other, THIS IS NOT COMPLETED, and then there’s a love triangle????, basically this is weird and sexual, because FUCK you jefferson is a bottom fight me, blame tumblr, bottom Jefferson is a big FUCK YOU to the anons on tumblr, i will keep writing parts, implied - Freeform, it never will be, jefferoni, next part out at 2000 followers, so this all started when I got an ask requesting Jefferson x Mac and cheese, stop reading this, then I wrote two extra parts because people kept ASKING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24390013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowleysGlasses/pseuds/jefferoni
Summary: Jefferson loves Macaroni and cheese. But a time comes where he must decide... his darling Mac or Alexander Hamilton?Hes forced to confront his feelings, when James Madison enters the mix as well.-Crack which became my Tumblr legacy, this is updated whenever I fucking want.  Enjoy this if you want. The first part is written a LONG time before the other three were, which is why the writing style has changed slightly. Read this is you dare, because it’s literally just Jefferson flirting with a bowl of Mac and cheese.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/James Madison, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/Macaroni
Series: Hamilton Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761166
Comments: 23
Kudos: 62





	1. MMMMMacaroni

**Author's Note:**

> Let me explain why this exists. A long time ago, I got an ask requesting Jefferson x Mac And Cheese. I thought it was fucking hilarious so I wrote it. Since then, I received an ask a WEEK begging for a part two. I caved. I wrote part two. Then I wrote part three. Now, this is my tumblr legacy and I’m going to write a part 4 (possibly more). I’m known as the Hamilton blog that writes crack. The first chapter was written before all the others, so the writing style has changed and gotten better. 
> 
> https://marquis--de-lafayeet.tumblr.com/post/186572718508/123-jefferson-x-mac-and-cheese

Thomas pushed open his kitchen door and gasped. There it was… heaven. All other consuming thoughts were cast away and replaced with thought of consuming the glorious yellow pasta. He dropped his briefcase to the floor, the hatch coming undone and clattering to the ground.

He panicked and leaned on the kitchen cabinet, fork poised and ready in hand. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?” He drawled seductively towards the angelic energy source.

The macaroni did not reply, much to his surprise. He thought he was being quite smooth. Almost as smooth as the cheese sauce felt when he would swallow it. He though silently to himself, licking his lips.

Thomas ran a finger around the top of the bowl, licking the sauce off the top. He chewed on his bottom lip in anticipation, twirling his fork around his finger.

The hunger that raged within him was insatiable. The only way he could ever be satisfied, was with the magestic god send of mac and cheese.

And with that final thought he plunged his fork into the bowl, harshly pulling out almost immediately with a chuckle. He ate the few bits of pasta before diving back in for more.

And his hunger because satiable. He was done.

Thomas delicately cleaned the remains of his fallen love from the empty bowl before placing it back into the cupboard. From there, he made a coffee and went about his day like nothing happened.

Like a true pasta stud.


	2. Back For More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas desires Mac. Then Alexander comes into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, take part two! This part was written a long time after part 1, and its much better written. Warning that all of these chapters are weirdly sexual.
> 
> https://marquis--de-lafayeet.tumblr.com/post/617740742485540864/123-jefferson-x-mac-and-cheese

Jefferson licks his finger delicately, flipping a page in his magazine. He is supposed to be working, typing on his laptop which is currently balanced on his knees. He reaches for his coffee mug, curling his fingers around the handle. He brought the cup to his lips and took a long sip, slurping back the lukewarm liquid. He never did allow his mind to run with him in states like this, ones where he’s still recovering from previous activities.

He placed the mug back down on his coffee table, laptop rocking side to side as he settled back into the couch. And in the expression of delirium he was trapped in, Thomas let his mind wander.

Images flood his mind, and he has to force himself to stop before a problem develops. Instead, he tried to indulge himself in work. Thomas stared at his laptop screen, which showed a blinding Google Doc with over 8,000 written words. 3 of those are written by him. The other 7,997 are done by the disgusting sewer dwelling rat known only as Hamilton. He refreshed the page and sure enough, more clattered nonsense appears after being typed out by the nonsensical snake. He swears to god, the only thing that gets him through a work day with Hamilton is the knowledge that when he arrives home, his true love will be awaiting him. His dream man… dream mac if you will.

Unable to stop himself at this point, he moved his computer off his lap and slid to his feet. Without even thinking, his legs glided towards the kitchen, mind flooding with ideas.

It was only earlier that day that he had seen his lover, but he needed more, more, more.

_More_.

It was all he could think about.

He did always enjoy his time with mac, he seemed to understand. He craved the touch, burn, kiss… oh god. He had never gone that far. He didn’t think he was that much of a pastofile. Yet, the idea… God. It sent his mind into a spinning mess.

That all too familiar itch of his fingers went through him once more as he opened his kitchen cabinet.

_What would it feel like?_

He continued to claw around inside the cabinet, finally catching onto the box of Kraft mac and cheese. He placed the whole packet into a pot and begun the ritual of simmering it away.

Thomas felt his mind begin to slip away from him once more, and he didn’t fight it. Would the pasta be warm or cold? Perhaps lukewarm would be best. Even the thought of being so intimate sent shivers of arousal down his spine and he found himself broken from his thoughts only by the bubbling of cheese sauce.

As to not burn his perfect partner, he turned off the stove and transferred the macaroni to a bowl so quickly you would’ve thought it was a medical emergency.

“Hey, darlin’,” Thomas purred, fork in hand, “funny seein’ you here… what brought you back so soon? Miss me that much?” His voice flipped to match the sultry tone, rumbling low and deep through his throat. “Heaven knows I missed you… I was thinking we should take this relationship to the next level.”

In his moment of total fascination he didn’t hear the footsteps coming in through the front door. He didn’t notice the wood slamming shut.

“I’ll be gentle, don’t you worry, darlin’,” Thomas whispered once more, placing the fork down on the kitchen counter, taking the bowl in one hand. He took a deep inhale through his nose, “whaddya say? Ready to fu-”

“Jefferson. What the fuck are you doing?”

Thomas froze, he placed the bowl back down. “Hamilton? You stinky house rat, what in the hell are you doing in my home?”

The rat scoffed. “We set this up over email, I’m coming over to do ‘work.’” Hamilton made air quotes, sticking his tongue out to swipe across his lips.

Thomas darted his eyes to his bowl of pasta for a moment, the desire and longing he had for it dissipating as Alexander is suddenly an inch away. He found his breath getting stuck in his throat because fuck him, Alexander’s lips are a whole lot nicer against his own than the cold feeling of a bowl.

So the pasta lay forgotten, heartbroken and Thomas is left questioning his feelings.

He has to choose.

Alexander… a person he didn’t know he had longer for until this moment.

Or mac and cheese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments! Tell me how much I’m wasting my life on this I don’t care.


	3. The Final Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “James.”
> 
> “That traitor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I still doing this? As always, here’s the next part on tumblr 
> 
> https://marquis--de-lafayeet.tumblr.com/post/617811277228670976/123-jefferson-x-mac-and-cheese

Thomas awoke the next morning, his arm tight around another’s waist, legs entangled with someone else’s. For a moment, he wondered if his darling Mac had personified and they would finally be together. Alas, the truth was quickly uncovered as light streamed past the windows. It shone brightly onto Alexander’s face, illuminating him in the dull morning sun. When did he become Alexander? Where did Hamilton, the rat end and Alexander, a sweet soul begin? Thomas really couldn’t tell. Maybe there was more Alexander in the Hamilton he thought he knew than previously aforementioned.

He gently removed himself from Alexander, sitting up with a pinch of pain. It shot up his spine, and he was beginning to regret giving into Alexander so easily because _fuck he hurt._

Thomas slipped out of bed, grabbing a night robe and sliding it on, the cool silk a lovely hug to the warmth of his sweat ridden body. His feet patted against the laminate flooring as he made his way to the kitchen, deducing that a coffee should be enough to wake him up. While he was at it, he would make one for Alexander too.

Alexander had been kind to him. Despite the… promiscuous night the two had shared, their appearances were not the only things each were indulged in. Whilst lying in bed after what seemed to be a particularly tough workout, they shared stories. Life stories, laughing at memories all while merely inches apart.

He kept his mind fixed on Alexander until he saw it.

If macaroni were alive, this bowl would’ve been shivering as if it were the harshest winter to ever hit New York. “Oh, darlin’!” Thomas forgot about his previous quest to retrieve coffee and instead looked at the bowl. He sighed, and wiped his nose.

With a heavy heart he slumped against the countertop. Perhaps… perhaps it was finally time to leave Mac in the dust. To finally achieve a proper relationship. He hadn’t had one since… since her.

“Mac… you have to understand. And, it’s not you! It’s me! I… I can’t keep doing this! I have Alexander-” he sighed, did he have Alexander? Sleeping together once doesn’t equal boyfriends. He raked a hand through his hair and nodded solemnly. “What I’m trying to say is… it’s time for me to move on. It’s time to put you in the trash.”

He lifted the bowl, tears pricking in his eyes as he stepped on the peddle bin. He couldn’t look. The bowl turned in his hands, contents tipping into the trash. The plop made him let out a choked sob. With the fork he scraped out the remnants, tossing the now empty bowl into the sink. For the first time in what felt like a million years, he made no effort to swipe the cheese sauce up. This was the road to getting better right? Why did it have to hurt so much?

“Are you making coffees, Tom?”

“Ah! Hamilton, you scared the living shit out of me!” Thomas pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart rate thump against his ribcage. He could throw up right here. Alexander had tugged on boxers and a shirt that certainly belonged to Thomas.

“I think we’re on a first name basis by now.” Alexander chuckled and paced into the kitchen, reaching for a mug Thomas didn’t notice he had pulled out. “So… would you like to see a movie one day?”

“Alexander-” Thomas started, he took a deep breath. “-I’m not ready for a relationship at this time.”

The look on Alex’s face struck him to his core, shattering his heart more than ridding himself of macaroni ever did. “Hey… so… what was all that last night?”

“I… I really like you, Alexander,” he sighed with exasperation, a movie with him sounded nice, but not so soon. Not after escaping a dangerously serious relationship with pasta, “but I just got out a relationship recently and… I’m not really yet. I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright, some other time then?” Alexander smiled, taking a boiled kettle and pouring himself a coffee. He drunk it black, something Thomas could never imagine drinking.

Thomas nodded, “sounds perfect to me. Thank you… for being so understanding.”

“I know what it’s like. Losing someone you love,” he sighed, “even if all you lost is macaroni.” The laughter was stifled as Alexander sipped his coffee.

“Who told you!?” Thomas’ cheeks rushed a deep shade of cherry red, and if you were to drop him atop an ice cream sundae he would look at home.

“James.”

“That _traitor_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave feedback please :) tell me what should come next! I have a plan, but I’d like to include your ideas!


	4. the final stretch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamilmads??? Yes please

“James.”

“ _ That traitor. _ ” 

-

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. 

As though on que that the door opens, and Thomas’ eyes dart towards it immediately as he pulls the night robe tighter around his frame. He realises in the second of embarrassment that it’s the Victoria Secret one he bought one Saturday afternoon of impulse shopping. He had been paid that week and his cool sisters were over, what could he say? 

He barely notices Alexander’s lips twitch up into a smirk, flicking his gaze from the opening door to Thomas. “He’s right on time,” he purrs, fixing Jefferson’s shirt on him. Part of the peeling decal on the front drops to the floor, and Alexander kicks it away with a barefoot.

“Who?” Thomas quirks a curious eyebrow. Before, he would’ve thought hell would freeze over before he would be scared around Hamilton, but the devil must be feeling chilly because fuck him if he isn’t nervous right now. 

Before Alexander can even answer the voice calls out, “Thomas?” Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Well fuck him, it’s Madison. Just the person he didn’t want to see. “Hamilton texted me, I brought snacks!” He sounds overjoyed, and the door shuts with a click behind him. He looks ahead at Alexander and blinks, “oh! You’re still here..?”

"I am," Alexander nods, and Thomas senses an odd animosity.

"Huh." James hums. "Cool…" he looks back at Thomas and smiles. "I have snacks, everything one may need to get over a breakup!" 

"I already know you told Alexander," Thomas hisses, looking James up and down. "Oooh! Hershey's Kisses!" He rushes forward, taking the pack from his hands and smiling. He absently kisses the man's cheek, ripping the packet open and automatically popping a chocolate treat in his mouth.

Fire rushes to Madison's cheeks, feeling the sensation of his lips still on the skin. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I just thought Alex should know." He watches as Alexander hits Thomas' shoulder over and over until the man caves and unwraps a Hershey's kiss for him. But he doesn't let Alexander take it, instead places it in his mouth for him. Jealousy is a rancid emotion really.

"It's funny, really." Alexander seems way too chill with all this, surprises Thomas. But he supposes everyone has their  _ thing. _ And this used to be his. But he's leaving it behind. "I called him while you were down here. Told him to bring chocolate." Alex informs, referring to James who waves.

"Oh." Is all Thomas can say, eating another snack. He offers the pack to James, who comes forward and takes one. "That's nice."

"Yeah… I figured I could come down here with snacks, we could laugh at the Kardashians and then…" James trails off, blush barely visible under his dark skin.

Thomas and Alexander both raise an eyebrow. "Then?" Hamilton hisses, venom and jealousy laced into his tone. 

"And go from there," Madison finishes, watching Thomas' eyes on him. He looks the smaller man up and down, studying him almost.

Thomas would be absolutely bat-shit crazy if he didn't admit that James was attractive. Same with Alexander. That was obvious. He had a deep feeling in his gut, one that never connected with the feeling he gained with Macaroni. No, this was something different, something other than innate arousal. (Was it ever… real attraction? Or was he using the dish to avoid confronting his real feelings?) 

"I uh-" Thomas looks between Alexander and James again, who have averted their gazes from each other, flushed. "I'd like to ask you something." He swallows his pride, unconventional? Sure. But he believes they can make it work.

-

They could indeed make it work. They had made it work for the past three months. How crazy? 

Three whole months without so much as a whiff of macaroni, and Thomas had never felt better. Why wouldn't he? Two amazing boyfriends and free from the shackles of a cheesy pasta. Alive, finally.

Macaroni no more.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. We did it folks. This is the end. Please comment if you enjoyed this trash pile.

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. Don’t ask. Leave comments and kudos, no I don’t take criticism because this is clearly the best piece of literature on this Earth. Because what beats Jefferson x a bowl of Mac and cheese?


End file.
